I am completely delusional

I realised something. I am completely fucking delusional. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying this cause I think there is anything wrong with that, but it just hit me again today when I sat down in front of my computer.

I have this thought every few weeks and it's interesting. You would think that realising I am fucking delusional would make me be more reserved, but fuck no. Any time I think of it my next thought is that's a good fucking thing. I would probably wanna kill myself if I wasn't.

You think you can say fuck this I am going into defence, go super deep within two years, create the largest defence innovation platform in the region while deciding you wanna learn to do machining, and then decide every single defence contractor in a country you like is gonna run on your software and just go all in, and then realise you weren't thinking big enough and instead decide ohh I'm just gonna build the fucking cloud they all run on?

Motherfucker that is objectively insanity. I see people too scared to skip over their boss and go up the chain with a cool idea, while I don't even question why entire governments should vote on my dumbass idea.

What's the fucking alternative? The fuck else are you gonna do?

I always have this thought when I hear about someone else being stuck on some dumb shit. The fuck else are you gonna do?

Now don't get me wrong. Maybe I am just fucking crazy. I've been down the rabbit hole. I've gone from having a business, travelling the world during COVID, to having barely enough left to my name to buy a single fucking McDonald's meal.

Shit sucked, but the fuck else are you gonna do?

I think being utterly delusional is a good thing. You could say stop lying to yourself, you can't do that, but it's too late for me. Whatever the fuck it is that I said, I already believe it with 100% conviction that it's happening.

You think AWS is gonna work for your rando sales guy? Fuck no.

You think AI will let the average person make an app secure enough to meet federal certification? Fuck no.

What they need is an infrastructure solution that will cover all that. Just let them fucking vibe code the part they know. "Make it good, and make it secure" won't work as a prompt without Patchy.

So here I fucking am, deluding myself all over again, and it fucking works. Cause the fuck else am I gonna do?